Read Now!

please go to somethingawful.com and read the reviews of duck books. or anything. it's hilarious.

ex:

Duck & Goose
Author: Tad Hills
Publisher: schwartz & wade books

Duck & Goose is a brutally honest look at the ever growing racial tension between ducks and geese. Tad Hills paints a picture of two avian species unwilling to work together for the greater good, only causing utter turmoil for both.

The story begins on a sweltering summer day as two birds, a duck and a goose, find an egg in a field. They inevitably end up arguing over who owns the egg. Duck says that the bird that saw it first claims ownership while the goose argues that the one who touches it first owns the egg. Actually, in my experience the one who smuggles it across state lines in his rectum is the rightful owner, but I digress.

They continue to struggle over who owns the egg and what they are going to do once it finally hatches. Duck wants to teach the bird to quack like a duck. Goose wants to kill it and eat it.

The heat makes people do some crazy things. Suddenly they get into a fight. Out of no where a little blue bird appears and throws a trash can at the egg, shattering it. Out spills a premature baby bird that takes one breath and dies a painful death. The two birds stand there awestruck and reflect on how truly fragile life is.

No doubt inspired by the Spike Lee classic "Do The Right Thing", Hills delves deep into the racial turmoil to reveal a scenario that could only lead to tragedy. Rather than work together to meet their goals of eating the bird inside, duck and goose's petty squabbles result in no one getting the yummy egg. But wait, there's a twist! The egg is actually a ball. What? You think such horrifying nonsense would be in a children's book? What's wrong with you?

Tad Hills also authored the insightful book Duck & Dog, in which a duck engages in a deadly affair with his best dog friend's bitch. He returns in top form with Duck & Goose.