no touching

Friends in bars, friends in close proximity to other people all over the world, I would like you to hear about something. It's called no touching. I understand that when you're out on a friday or saturday night, things can get a little crazy. Maybe there were a few drinks involved, maybe you're feeling a little bit more open and loose, but by all means, whoever you are, stop the touching! If you know the touch-ee, this behavior may or may not be acceptable. But generally, come on guys - keep the hands off. You can act interested without touching. You can even be sleazy without touching!

and my lord, please don't follow any of this advice!

Listen To Me Carefully.

These should never make an appearance in your closet. They should be banned from every closet in general, but especially your closet.Overalls never look good. They are not a legitimate fashion statement. They belong on this girl in the early 90s, and then never again, okay? Never again. Never. Never! NEVER!!!!

Just Say NO.

I know; I know it's hot. But come on guys.

NO MESH SHIRTS.

They don't look good on anyone, really. So please, back away. Stick with good old breathable fabrics. Sleeveless shirts are now accepted, maybe even welcomed - just for the love of god refrain from wearing mesh shirts. Especially that a mesh shirt with a tiger pattern on it. Guy across from me on the subway, tsk tsk.